Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Duluth 
What I Believe and Why
Dawn Stevenson
February 22, 2004
I always seem to show up late to the party. For anyone who knows me well, this is not a shocking statement. It's not that I don't want to be there at the beginning. It is usually that I am trying to pack more activities into a small amount of time than anyone - even the most time efficient person - could possibly accomplish in that amount of time. It is a personality flaw which I am constantly battling.
Be that as it may, I do show up and I always have a grand time. My history with Unitarian Universalism has been such an experience. As a young adult, I was trying to find what I craved spiritually, but I had this incredible to-do list that I thought I really ought to finish first. I made the assumption that ultimately my salvation was a given based on what I learned growing up. That assumption allowed other matters to take priority over finding what was satisfying to my soul.
My parents married in a civil ceremony and later had a religious ceremony to satisfy their families. When I was born the following year, my parents chose an Episcopal baptism based on my mother's upbringing. I am certain this caused some consternation for my father's rural Lutheran family, but they probably all got over it by their second plate of hotdish and Jello salad. It was a short lived marriage which ended in an amicable divorce. Although my father was the more churched of the two, he deferred to my mother regarding my religious upbringing – for a time, that is.
My mother married a second time when I was five years old. My stepfather was raised as a Baptist. I don’t recall going to church with him except when our family went to visit my stepgrandmother. She was a God-fearing, Bible quoting woman who never had a kind word for my stepsiblings and me. The church she attended terrified me. The minister seemed to always be telling us that we were damned to hell if we ever had an impure thought. Keep in mind I was five at the time and had been an only child until recently. Every time I didn’t want to share a toy, or gloated because I learned our address faster than my siblings, or called them ‘poopies’ I thought of that minister and knew I was headed to the “hot place”. It was an odd feeling to be singing “Jesus Loves the Little Children” in church and feel excluded from those children.
Fortunately, I was not made to endure that for more than a few years. My mother divorced, and I was once again an only child with a busy single mother who didn’t have much time for our religious lives. I saw my father every weekend. Sometimes we would go to church together, and he would allow me to stay with him in the service rather than go to Sunday School. We had some lively discussions about the nature of God and what the Bible meant.
When I got to confirmation age - 7th grade in the Lutheran church - my father had become a member of Mt. Olivet, the largest Lutheran congregation in North America. I was enrolled and went to church school weekly for two years. I was comfortable with my knowledge of and ability to recite the lessons and prayers. Mt. Olivet is a lovely building and the pageantry involved in their services was inspiring on some levels. I was keenly aware, however, that I was going through the motions in terms of professing my devotion to Jesus and to the denomination. I was sure there was something more.
My confirmation greatly pleased my father’s German/Scandinavian relatives, although you’d never know it to look at them. I didn’t attend church much after that except when I went to visit relatives. Whenever I would talk to my Grandma on the phone, she would ask about church and if I was meeting any nice boys there.
When I got to college, I moved in with my father, and his desire to go to church weekly influenced me. I continued to attend Mt. Olivet sporadically, but I checked out some other churches, as well. I took an History of Religion class which prompted to me to try Synagogue with a friend. I loved it! The atmosphere was relaxed and open. People were chatting with their neighbors throughout the service, and there was a Batmitzvah following which had the most delectable food! Hmmm...Judaism?!
I graduated and left for Duluth to work and complete my Master’s degree. Religious seeking again took a back seat, but I had an experience that helped confirm what I didn’t want from a church home. One Christmas Eve I hurried with my family to the 9:00 service at Mt. Olivet. We were forced to sit in the social hall and watch the service on closed circuit television due to the crowds and our late arrival. As I mentioned before the pageantry of the services at Mt. Olivet was awe-inspiring, but not on a 21" television. I was totally disenchanted with everything about church suddenly. It wasn’t until I met Adam several years later that I thought about public religion again because we wanted a religious ceremony for our wedding.
Adam hadn’t attended church in over 15 years when we met. He said he was “Protestant” and his mother added “Congregational.” I had promised my mother a “person of the cloth” would marry me, but I had no church affiliation at the time. My housemate mentioned the Unitarians as a place that might be comfortable for the two of us.
I phoned the church at 1802 East First Street and spoke at length with a lovely woman who was able to tell me about the Unitarian Universalist traditions and Principles. I felt immediately in tune with what she was saying. As our conversation neared its end, I asked her what most people call the leader or the pastor of the church, and she replied, “most people call me Karen.” I was hooked by a minister of a congregation who could take so much time with a person just phoning for information. Adam and I made an appointment for lunch to hear more about the UUs and about the Duluth congregation.
By then, services had moved to St. Edward’s. Adam and I were both impressed with the relaxed atmosphere, the variety of folks who attended, the religious education program, and the occasions with food! We signed the book in the months leading up to our wedding. Karen married us at 1802 with our families packed into the pews on a sweltering August afternoon. All felt right with the world even with the heat.
It was later that month that the calls started coming for committee work. I was asked to join the Board as one member had unexpectedly resigned. Adam and I were invited to team teach the preschool/kindergarten curriculum, and soon after Adam was asked to be involved with youth group. It happened that I was still in the girl-who-can’t-say-no phase, so I joined the Board with no prior Board experience. I was assured that my youthful outlook was just what the Board was seeking, and anything I needed to know could be learned “on the job”. As for teaching, Adam and I thought it was a good opportunity to work with the young children and meet their parents. We were hoping to become parents ourselves, so it seemed a nice fit.
It turned out that teaching, being a part of the Religious Education committee and being on the Board helped to solidify my understanding of the UU faith tradition. The more I learned, the more I felt certain that Unitarian Universalism was the right fit for me.
My family has had a variety of reactions. My father and grandmother are thrilled I have a church home, but they secretly wish it was Lutheran. My mother would rather it was a mainstream Christian religion - my references to “Christianity plus so much more” don’t seem to satisfy her. My stepfather wasn’t keen on women in the pulpit, but he says he’s happy if I’m happy.
I am happy. This is a great party. I have been the recipient of caring and sharing. I’ve been challenged to grow intellectually and spiritually. I’ve taken advantage of opportunities to attend Leadership School and to become an OWL curriculum facilitator. Although I still find my spirit most fulfilled by my children, my partner and nature, my soul is nourished here with you all. I am happy to be here even though I haven’t been able to clearly articulate what I believe; I guess I am always in process on that matter. I do know the Unitarian Universalist path is the right one for me.
All of the experiences I’ve related to you this morning are the make-up of my belief system. The whole is greater than the sum of it’s parts. The great part is - I’m not done experiencing things and trying to square them with my belief system.
That’s where you come in -Thank you for BEING. Thank you for being HERE. Thank you for BEING HERE WITH ME.