Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Duluth 
Transforming Love
The Rev. Karen
Johnson Gustafson
First Unitarian
Church of Duluth
February 6, 2005
On the cover of our weekly order
of service are find two lists. One is the list of principles that Unitarian
Universalist congregations freely agree to affirm and promote:
The inherent worth and dignity
of every person;
Justice, equity and compassion
in human relations;
Acceptance of one another
and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations;
A free and responsible search
for truth and meaning;
The right of conscience and
the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at
large;
The goal of world community
with peace, liberty, and justice for all;
Respect for the interdependent
web of all existence of which we are a part.
The list on the back is of the
sources from which we seek our direction and from which we draw our inspiration
to live our principles:
- Direct experience of that transcending mystery
and wonder, affirmed in all cultures, which moves us to a renewal of the spirit
and an openness to the forces which create and uphold life;
- Words and deeds of prophetic women and men
which challenge us to confront powers and structures of evil with justice,
compassion, and the transforming power of love;
- Wisdom from the world's religions which
inspires us in our ethical and spiritual life
- Jewish and Christian teachings which call
us to respond to God's love by loving our neighbors as ourselves;
- Humanist teachings which counsel us to heed
the guidance of reason and the results of science, and warn us against idolatries
of the mind and spirit.
- Spiritual teachings of earth-centered traditions
which celebrate the sacred circle of life and instruct us to live in harmony
with the rhythms of nature
Ours is a living tradition in
which we are not to be simply inspired but to be inspired to act. Each day we
are faced with the question asked so eloquently by the poet Mary Oliver: "What
will you do with your one wild and precious life?
The second source of living
tradition of Unitarian Universalism is "Words and deeds of prophetic women
and men that challenge us to confront powers and structures of evil with justice,
compassion and the transforming power of love." To me this implies a kind
of faith stance. It implies that we believe that it is possible to transform
evil with love.
James Poling, Professor of Pastoral
Theology and Counseling, Colgate Rochester Divinity School According offers
a definition of evil which I paraphrase: evil is the intentional abuse of power
that destroys bodies and spirits. It is produced by persons who are either unwilling
or unable to take responsibility for the consequences of their destructive acts.
This abuse of power is organized by economic forces, structures, institutions
and ideologies and justified by appeals to necessity and truth.
The challenge in the Unitarian
Universalist statement of our living tradition is to confront evil with love.
What must love be that can engage such a challenge and in so doing be a force
for transformation?
First a word about transformation.
About twenty years ago, I took
a three day workshop once Sam Keen, a popular philosopher/theologian. . I don't
remember what it was called but I do remember that it had something to do with
exploring our mythic spiritual journeys. I have a few vivid recollections from
that experience. One of them is something he said in his opening remarks. "You
will not be transformed today", he said. "If you leave here thinking
that you have, you should be deeply suspicious"
He went on, however, to say
that transformation does, happen but not on a week-end. He understood that the
workshop could provide some insights and experiences that could be trans formative
but that transformation is an ongoing process that is fed by the accumulation
and integration of insight and experience.
In order to have transformative
power love must then be accumulated and integrated in the face of that which
does harm to bodies and spirits by persons who are unwilling or unable to take
responsibility for the consequences of actions or ideologies or systems that
produce the harm or keep it happening.
Clearly this is not the love
of valentines or popular songs or even love that parents feel for children or
that we feel for our friends and others from whom we seek love in return. That
love springs freely and spontaneously and naturally from each persons personal
reservoir. It is love longing to be given. It is love that is eagerly sought.
The love that transforms evil
is an altogether different thing. It does not spring freely but must force its
way through a blockade of other natural feelings that happen first. Feelings
like fear and aversion and distaste. Biologists tell us about the fight or flight
response that is hard wired into animals including humans, a response that,
in the face of evil most certainly is most natural. The love that transforms
evil is in many ways unnatural, and must occur when what we feel is very much
at odds with what we must do.
Personal love arises from mutuality
and desire and is played out in ways that are sometimes awkward but at least
familiar and modeled. Love that transforms evil is mostly in movies like "Deadman
Walking" and "Good Will Hunting" in which the protagonists are
a nun and a therapist whose success can be attributed to extraordinary faith
and training and great scripting.
And finally, the good that transforms
evil comes not only from an individual heart and mind but from a source of greater
good. For some this is God, for others it is an overarching sense of justice
forged from experiences of transforming love; for others it is the support and
encouragement of a community or a movement.
One of the most well known writings
on the nature of transforming love comes from the Apostle Paul from the Christian
tradition in his letter to the Corinthians.
ÒIf
I speak in human and angel tongues, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or
a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries
and all knowledge,
and
if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not
love, I gain nothing.
Love
is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or
rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things,
believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends;
as for prophecies, they will pass away; and as for tongues, they will cease;
as for knowledge, it will pass away. For our knowledge is imperfect and our
prophecy is imperfect; but when the perfect comes the imperfect will pass away.
So
faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
Mistaken often for an expression
of romantic love, this passage is often read at weddings. The context in which
it is written is altogether not romantic.
Ken-Read Brown, minister of
the Old Ship Unitarian Universalist Church in Hingim, Massachusetts says:
Paul, in his letter to the Corinthians,
was not writing a poem to be shared at a wedding, as that passage so often É
is. He was writing to a contentious community which wished to be "Christian"
- which, this means, wished to be loving... but somehow couldn't quite get it
right.
Paul was, in other words, writing
to us... here, now, on the planet.
And Paul knew, as the folks
in Corinth were discovering, that whatever this thing called love is, it is
not always easy. Not as easy as saying "Love thy neighbor"... not
as easy as saying "canÕt we all just get along"... not as easy as
saying "children, play nicely." Even so, Paul was affirming that love
is possible.
And, I would add, an essential
element in the confrontation of powers and structures of evil and never easy
in the places where it has potential for the most tarns formative power.
What would it be like if we
were to hold ourselves and our nations leaders to the standards prescribed by
Paul?
Love
is patient and kind;
love
is not jealous or boastful;
it
is not arrogant or rude.
Love
does not insist on its own way;
it
is not irritable or resentful;
it
does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.
Aside
from rendering all politicians and most secular public figures mute, it is hard
to imagine.
As important as it is to strive
for this vision of love in our most intimate relationships, (and it is) it has
a different and equally significant value in the face of persons unwilling or
unable to take responsibility for the intentional abuse of power that destroys
bodies and spirits. It is even more difficult to take on economic forces, structures,
institutions and ideologies that justified such harm by appeals to necessity
and truth
What makes it significant is
its difficulty and the reality that the most such love will do in the beginning
is simply to prevent more harm. If transformation is an incremental process,
then our ability to offer up small insights and experiences that may or may
not be integrated at a later time is an important first step. We have a lot
of options.
Patience,
kindness, humility, courtesy, graciousness, openness, suspension of judgment,
listening, speaking the truth with compassion, not speaking if what we have
to say is only true but not relevant. Any or all of this to ones who would seek
to harm bodies and spirits.
Who
are these people in your world? What are your most natural impulses toward them?
An
exercise I like to do is to place myself at the center of a series of concentric
circles. In my circle I practice loving the parts of me that are hardest to
love. In the next circle are the people I hold most dear and who are generally
the easiest to love but who have annoying habits that we are all aware of that
test my patience and graciousness. These relationships are generally mutual
and responsible and thrive on my awareness that I 'ain't no great shakes either.
These relationships do not violate my sense of justice nor do I experience harm
to my body or spirit nor do I see such harm occurring with others in their lives.
But I must ask myself, suppose that should change. Suppose someone I love spontaneously
out of my natural well should become a source of harm to me or someone else?
Could I respond with compassion? Could that urge to harm be transformed by my
love?
In
the next circle is the beloved community. In my nearly nineteen years here I
have remained blissfully untested by threats of harm to anyone here. I want
to believe that I could model transforming love. Recently I came upon this account
by one of my colleagues:
A few years ago, a UU minister
shared the efforts she and her congregation were making to restrain the behavior
of a valued member of their community who was also a sexual predator.
It was important to them to
extend their love and support to this individual while absolutely putting a
halt to his inappropriate, destructive behaviors. It lead them far beyond the
focus on this one individual. They began to look at the more subtle inappropriate
behaviors that were being tolerated within their small community. They started
to recognize the ways they might be sending an open invitation to destructive
behavior when they let negative and offensive behaviors go unchecked. As a group
they put and end to put downs, back stabbing and offensive jokes. Sexism, racism,
classism, and homophobia were challenged openly and lovingly. Together, they
wrestled with new ideas on how to deal with conflict in order to define
the intentional community they
aspired to be.
If you visit them now, you know
right away, what they stand for and what is expected of everyone within the
community.
Healthy interactions are modeled
by leaders. Behavior covenants outline agreed upon behaviors that enable everyone
to relate and engage in positive, life affirming ways. If someone steps out
of bounds into destructive patterns, there are many ready to gently lead them
back into right relations. There is so much more energy to go around because
resources are not being utilized to mask or contain unhealthy activity.There
is far less fear and criticism and far more affirmation.
I have found this to be a remarkably
good spirited and uncontentious congregation over the years. But I believe that
we might ask ourselves if there are resources being utilized to mask or contain
unhealthy activity? How might we be more intentional about how we grow our transformational
love and use it to confront the powers and structures that harm our society
and our world? After all, the good that transforms evil comes not only from
an individual heart and mind but from a source of greater good. For some this
is God, for others it is an overarching sense of justice forged from experiences
of transforming love; for others it is the support and encouragement of a community
or a movement.
We are part of a community and
a movement here that at best challenges us to a love that is part of everything.
When I was at Starr King School
I became acquainted with a man named Danaan Perry. He was invited to speak at
one of my classes because he was a friend of the professors and because he had
just returned from a peace keeping mission to Ireland. He told us about how
he had come to be a peace keeper. He had been a nuclear physicist doing research
for the defense industry. He went to a conference in India and during a tour
of Deli became separated from his party. He found himself in a warehouse where
the sick and dying were being attended to by Mother Theresa and her order. He
was so taken by the need that he set about to help. After a long while, he encountered
Mother Theresa herself. He was absolutely overcome by his experience and told
her that he had decided to quit his job and to move to India and help her in
her mission. To his surprise, she said ÒNo, you must return to your country
and do what you do. And whaever it is, do it with love. If you are a teacher,
do it with love; if you are a fire fighter, do it with love; if you are a bank
robber, do it with love.
Do not, she was saying think
that you have been transformed by this experience. Integrate this experience
into the rest of your life and make a difference. That is the true nature of
transformation and it is the way that love transforms. It is easy to love what
is most loveable. It is easy to seek justice where it is most obviously missing.
The hard part of the love that transforms is that it is need most where it is
most difficult to see the results. And so whatever we do, we must do it with
love.